What You'll Get
Like improperly maintained landing gear, sore feet are known to break off when they make contact with the ground, sending the detached body of the apparatus skidding into a cornfield. Touch down safely with today's Groupon: for $32, you get one pair of FS700 arch supports (a $65 value) or $65 worth of footwear at Foot Solutions at the Houston Rice Village location.
Foot Solutions conducts in-depth personal evaluations to help the foot-pained find the right footgear to sedate their barking dogs. Through a comprehensive evaluation that employs an advanced digital foot-mapping technique, staffers can determine the causes of pain and then use the results to soothe fidgety kickers with prefabricated FS700 arch supports. Customers can also opt to put the $65 value of their Groupon toward custom orthotic inserts (up to $289) or a pair of Finn Comfort Vaasas ($350), Chung Shis ($245), or other arch-ameliorating footwear, finally ditching the bewildered old woman with whom they'd been previously forced to live. Customers will also receive 20% off custom biomechanical arch supports if purchased on the same day as they use their Groupon, or on any day that Venus is aligned with Martin Van Buren's mutton chops.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires May 6, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Valid only at Houston Rice Village location. By appointment only. Special order charges may apply. Not valid with any other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.