Champion tennis players attribute success to prodigious athleticism and fluency in a language of grunts that communicates instructions to felted balls. Practice guttural discourse with today's Groupon: for $98, you get seven weeks of Learn and Play tennis lessons at Forest Lake Tennis Club in Chesterfield (a $196 value).

Forest Lake Tennis Club's experienced tennis pros refine serves and strokes on their eight indoor, air-conditioned courts. A tennis pro diagnoses your stroke for the first hour of the clinic, tinkering with your form and process. For the last half hour, racket raisers can test their newfound ability to defeat challengers with topspins, slices, and smashes that provide a more definitive ending to a match than the time Duke Evers knocked out Rocky Balboa with his autobiography. The clinic is geared toward advanced-beginner adult players, and classes hold a maximum of 32 adults, with a student-to-pro ratio of six to one. Throttle pea-green projectiles Tuesdays–Thursdays from 6 p.m. to 7:30 pm.