Without a back, you'd never know which way was forward, making dramatic exits confusing and awkward. Reward your back for not being up front with today's Groupon. For $39, new clients get a condition-specific exam, a 50-minute massage, and one ART (Active Release Techniques) soft-tissue treatment at Fort Worth Family Chiropractic (a $250 total value).

Whether you spend your days sport-hunting in the Outback or sitting in a cubicle, your spine is the only thing that separates you from the spineless and sentient alien black oil. Make sure you’re in good back health with a thorough examination from Jeff Johnson, D.C. The friendly doc will connect the dots from your headaches or hammertoes to your spinal alignment to determine overall health and wellness ($125 value). After the exam, a 50-minute massage ($55) helps boost energy, reduce stress, and release endorphins to give you the surge of vitality needed to tackle the weekly grocery shopping.

The nervous system controls everything in your body, from properly functioning organs to the chuckle of cognitive dissonance produced by your brand-new bed made entirely of muenster. ART therapy can be used to treat pain caused by overused muscles, including sore backs, headaches, shoulder pain, knee problems, and many other body burdens. Your 15-minute ART session ($70) will break down tough tissue and assist in rebuilding your nervous system's control of the muscles. A member of the PGA's network of professional sports care providers and ART certified, Dr. Jeff Johnson will examine which of your tired tissues need precisely directed attention to relieve pain and improve your range of motion.

Runners, athletes, or anyone in need of a muscle tune-up can benefit from today's Groupon. Buy one to surprise your hard-working body with improved wellness and purchase up to three more as gifts for any shoddy body acquaintances. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.