In past centuries, it was the privilege of the rich and powerful to receive dental care in order to elegantly smile at the common folk and to safely enjoy breakfasts of scrambled Fabergé eggs. Outfit orifices as age-old affluents did with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a full dental examination (a $51 value), a teeth cleaning (a $102 value), four bitewing x-rays (a $72 value), a fluoride treatment (a $28 value), and take-home whitening trays (a $195 value) from Fred Abeles, DDS (a $448 total value).

Dr. Fred Abeles applies his expertise as a clinical instructor and regional director at the Las Vegas Institute for Advanced Dental Studies to train a team of talented and personable technicians. Staff members assess oral health with a thorough examination, incorporating bitewing x-rays to check for soft spots, discoloration, and hidden caches of pirate bullion. The teeth cleaning clears away debris and stains and a fluoride treatment fortifies smiles with an extra layer of calcium, revealing a smooth and shiny set of mouth pearls. To retain their mouths' ivory luster, patients receive a set of take-home teeth-whitening trays to brighten bicuspids and molars when accidentally locked in a malfunctioning fallout shelter.