The Deal

• Study the World in Glorious 2-D with a Flat Earth Globe (Free)

To get your free globe, just click the ‘Buy!’ button. Your confirmation voucher will contain a web link to where you can download the PDF version and print it out.

Flat Earth Globe

For thousands of years, humans have sought to better understand the mysteries of the cosmos. From Galileo to Vera Rubin, countless brilliant minds have set out to investigate the Great Unknown, armed with only one universal truth: the only thing we know is that we know nothing, except that our own world is flat. After all, outer space is infinitely vast, much bigger than the giant horizontal disc we call Earth. How could we possibly know all that lies beyond the sheer cliffs at the edge of our world?

We may never unlock all the universe’s secrets, but at least we can continue to explore the horizons here at home. As part of Groupon’s commitment to science, we’re offering this free educational tool to help curious customers better understand the breathtaking horizontal plane we call home.

Painstakingly rendered in all two dimensions, this realistic model of the Earth is based on the works of renowned astronomers Shaquille O’Neal and Kyrie Irving. As leading thinkers in the field of planogeology, The Big Aristotle and Mr. Overtime have spent their entire careers studying spheres—after all, it’s their job to dribble one every day. If the Earth were shaped like a basketball, don’t you think they’d be the first ones to know?

It’s a silly question, regardless, because the Earth is obviously flat. Look out any window or walk down any street. The ground is right there, and it’s as flat as an old soda. Yet if the Earth was like a basketball, the ground would be curved. Plus, if you tried to fly from one side of the ball to the other, you’d fall right off. Anyway, a basketball wouldn’t be nearly big enough for every human to fit on it.

It just doesn’t make sense.

But with this free globe, you can set such fanciful ideas aside and just let the Earth’s sublime flatness fill you with awe. After printing out your globe, affix it to an old frozen-pizza circle and give it a spin to simulate the way the Earth flies through space like a carnival wheel. Or just have fun seeking out all the Earth’s details, from its perfectly level mountains to its ice-covered rim that’s been covertly guarded by NASA for generations. The sky is the limit, and the bottom of our flat, flat world is the other limit.