Like babies, cars depend on their owners for food, love, and shelter from the photo-op kisses of aggressively campaigning politicians. Protect your bundle of joy with today’s Groupon: for $12, you get two cans of Euro-style auto wax and a microfiber polishing cloth from Fukken Wax online (a $30 value). Shipping is not included in this Groupon, but generally costs $7–$10.
Inspired by old-world car-care secrets, Fukken Wax kits outfit cowboys with the tools they need to illuminate and protect their horseless steeds. Commence the treatment by unleashing an aerosol-borne crew of solvents and lubricators that expertly surround and emulsify oxidation blemishes, tree-sap freckles, and “wash me” tattoos. An invigorating microfiber-cloth massage activates protective blankets of Brazilian-palm-leaf carnauba wax and dispatches lingering grime, revealing factory-fresh and glossy auto epidermises. Though developed to coddle cars, boats, and motorcycles, the multifunctional formula also skates safely over glass, chrome, and other nonporous surfaces. Each 17.5-ounce can envelops four average-size vehicles in a paint-protecting embrace for up to 10 weeks, depending on weather and road conditions.