Before baseball caught on, the national pastime was dangerously close to being horse thievery, gander goosing, or painfully earnest father-son conversations. Gift wee ones a less awkward summer with today’s Groupon: for $25, kids 12 and younger get membership to Izzy's Kids Club (a $125 value), the summer kids' program of the Gateway Grizzlies in Sauget, Illinois.

The Gateway Grizzlies field a cheer-worthy battalion of batmen, fireballers, and other baseball practitioners, all set on reclaiming their 2003 title as Frontier League Champions. Raising a paw in triumph at every home run, team mascot Izzy the Grizzlie transforms mundane seventh-inning stretches into surreal vaudeville acts of fanatical bear antics, such as devouring opposing salmon.

Izzy extends a wooly welcome to members 12 and younger with a grab bag of special events, giveaways, and discounts to other cub-friendly establishments. The atypically cuddly grizzly celebrates another year at the top of GCS Ballpark's food chain with a birthday blowout on Wednesday, June 1, during which lucky party-goers can bring three members of their family or capture-the-flag team. On Sunday, August 7, Izzy will flourish his connections to arrange an introduction to Manager Phil Warren. The day's activities will conclude with four tickets to that evening's game, and members will be invited onto the field to bask in the envy of their peers.

A framed photo with Izzy, an official membership certificate, and a nylon-cinch backpack serve as lingering tokens of ursine affection after school bewitches children back indoors. Meanwhile, discounts to the Izzy's Den memorabilia shop, Splash City Family Waterpark, and Upper Limits Indoor Rock Gym & Pro Shop provide the facilities necessary to hone each child's grizzly mindset through the end of the year.