What You'll Get
Contrary to popular belief, the human skeleton is bonded by more than hooked muscle-tentacles and peanut butter-based cement. Foster connective comfort with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a customized hour-long massage at Genesis Medical Center (an $80 value).
The board-certified doctors at Genesis Medical Center soothe skeletons by incorporating natural methods of treatment and respecting the self-healing ability of the human body. Licensed chiropractic specialists get to the root of the problem rather than simply treating pesky symptom branches. Therapists knead away achy nuisances with a choice of hour-long massages including Swedish, sports, lymphatic, Meridian (acupressure), hot stone, or deep tissue, which release tension, pummel pain, and frees the mind from the perpetual jabber of Cabbage Patch Dolls that dominate the stream of human consciousness. Patients leave with better posture and more aerodynamic skeletons.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Sep 28, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. Must be 18 or older or be accompanied by guardian. May apply value towards upgrade. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.