The Tooth Fairy is a burglarizing fetishist specializing in black-market ivory trade, and she must be stopped. Today’s Groupon helps keep teeth in mouths and out of the hands of maniacal, winged phantasms: for $60, you get a dental exam, x-rays, a cleaning, and oral-hygiene instruction at Gentle Touch Family Dentistry (a $325 total value).
The associates at Gentle Touch Family Dentistry keep ivories bite-ready with a deft combination of advanced dental technology and specialized cosmetic expertise. Appointments commences with a detailed exam (a $95 value), as technicians snoop around teeth and gums, listen to retellings of oral-health histories, and help patients remove molar-shaped knockout pills left over from days as a secret agent. Next, x-rays (a $78 value) snap moody black-and-white pictures of chompers, exposing secrets about hidden cavities and bone health. After the molar portraiture, a hygienist thoroughly cleans teeth (a $90 value), buffing, flossing, and polishing surfaces until they twinkle like stars covered in Christmas lights and body glitter after a teeth-whitening treatment. To maintain results, hygienists share instructions and demonstrate special mouth-mending techniques during an oral-hygiene lesson (a $78 value), equipping patients with the knowledge to carry them confidently into far-flung dental futures (a $78 value).
Appointments unfold between the warm, earth-toned walls of Gentle Touch's homey office, whose comfortable atmosphere is enhanced by in-office fountains, cushy waiting-room chairs, and sugar-free candies passed out by the practice’s in-house grandmother.