Like Samson's, a man's physical strength is directly proportional to the length of his hair, which is why The Beatles spent most of the 1960s crushing classical marble busts with their bare hands. Trade some strength for a new look with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of services at GQ Barber Lounge at Gentleman's Quarters.
Gentleman's Quarters caters to all breeds of man with a plethora of grooming services performed in a masculine environment. Tailor your headscape with a performance haircut ($38+), a comprehensive combo of shampoo, scalp massage, conditioning, and cut that also includes luxe touches such as a neck and shoulder massage and a hot steamed towel with aromatherapy. Like Daniel Boone boxing a wookiee, the traditional shave ($30+) strikes furry surfaces with precision, severing stubble with a straight-edge razor, then coddling liberated skin with cold towels and aftershave balm from The Art of Shaving. A custom massage can melt away tension using everything from hot stones to the bodyweight of a barefoot massage therapist ($50 for 30 minutes), and hand repair ($42+) softens mitt skin callused from hours spent working in the yard or impatiently cranking a 1920s-era telephone.
Guests receive their pamperizing in the privacy of a man-cave-like atmosphere of rustic, dark-green décor, antiques, and sports memorabilia. ESPN and CNBC playing in the background enable ears to soak up the latest sports and business news and relay it to the brain, where it can be converted into a highly danceable pop song.