Spider veins, much like spider monkeys, may attract attention when paraded about in a pair of shorts. Exterminate fleshly pests with today's Groupon: for $169, you get a spider-vein-removal treatment at Gillum Facial Plastic Surgery in Carmel (a $575 value).
Gillum Facial Plastic Surgery fuses professional expertise with the latest cosmetic technology to vanquish spider veins and leave behind prettified protoplasms. In an initial consultation, patients will choose to treat either the upper or lower legs and snap photos of any veins resembling former presidents. A physician's assistant then targets the the troubled areas with an injection to shrink arterial arachnids into oblivion. After the 30-minute treatment lends clarity to lower limbs, patients can expect mild side effects such as swelling and skin redness, which will typically subside over the course of a few days.