An epoch-defining milestone in human history came when men discovered that leaving their stone tools out in the sun transformed them into stronger, more attractive bronze weapons. Start your own Bronze Age with today's Groupon: for $29, you get your choice of three spray-tanning sessions or four UV tanning sessions (a $59 value) at Glow Tanning Studio in Cold Spring, Kentucky (about 15 minutes from downtown).

Glow Tanning Studio is a clean, up-to-date tanning facility stocked with a friendly and attentive staff and multiple tanning options. Customers can elect to brown their pelts with their choice of either four high- pressure ultraviolet sessions, or three UV-free spray-tanning sessions. High quality tanning equipment, the latest in spray-tan technology, and a line of delicious tanning lotions ensure that the pale, teeming masses achieve their desired photoskinthesis, whether they’re opting for a UV high-pressure bed or a sunless spray tan.

Glow Tanning Studio is open every day of the week, which allows customers whose off-days fall on the weekends to tan without fearing the pallid reprisals of a curmudgeonly, naked mole-rat boss. The friendly staff streamlines all tonally transformative experiences. Stop in for your faux solar coat with today’s Groupon, and prepare to stay glowing eerily even into the depths of night.

Cannot mix-and-match UV and spray tans.