A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad-science hobby with today’s Groupon: for $150, you get an in-office Sapphire teeth whitening at Green Brook Family Dental in Green Brook (a $450 value).
Green Brook Family Dental’s staff of familial fang enthusiasts uses the Sapphire whitening system to futuristically scrub out molar stains until the patient’s mouth pearls are as spotless as the surrounding office. Once the Green Brook crew fits a tooth tray filled with bleaching gel over discolored gnashers, a desensitizing agent prevents incisors from weeping at the sight of bunnies holding hands. The Sapphire light then activates the formula, catalyzing a reaction between the hydrogen peroxide and staining compounds. Mouth bones emerge blankened by 9 to 12 shades. A rinse concludes the 60-minute procedure, clearing away remnants of enamel graffiti so that smiles can get back to illuminating film shoots.
933 N Washington Ave.
Green Brook, New Jersey 08812