In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $17, you get a 30-minute massage at Green Tea Massage (a $35 value) in Blue Ridge.
Certified massage therapist Carrie Nolan coaxes sore and stressed muscles into a more relaxed state with a mitigating menu of clinical massages. The long, flowing strokes of the swedish massage are designed to increase oxygen flow in the bloodstream and oust toxins from their muscular fortifications and the deep tissue massage strives to evaporate stress caused by muscular misalignment, past injuries, and repetitive one-handed clapping. Athletes can prepare for big games and staring contests with the sports massage, which aims to relieve swelling and prevent fatigue as well as injuries. Expectant mothers can indulge in a prenatal massage, which seeks to reduce the flow of stress hormones to the baby and nourish them with increased circulation while relieving matronly lower back pains. This massage can also be enjoyed by new moms to help reduce the chances of depression following pregnancy and intolerably long rounds of marsupial-themed Pictionary.