According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, humans cannot attain self-actualization without first tending to such basic physiological needs as water, sleep, and pastrami. Achieve overall fulfillment with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of pub fare and drinks at Groggs Irish Pub in Clovis.
A traditional Irish pub with a robust menu, a full bar, and an outdoor beer garden, Groggs wages a tactical twin strike on hunger and thirst. Patrons can test the waters with Dublin hot wings ($7.95), cordon bleu balls ($3.95), or Irish chips ($1.95) before wildly cannonballing into the deep end of a hearty soup. Options such as the meaty bowl, jammed with cheesesteak filling, grilled pastrami, green onions, and cabbage ($10.95), and the bucket o’ chowder—clam chowder served with Irish chips ($8.95)—come in bread bowls. Named after an old Irish crime-fighting duo, the banger and spuds fights the injustice of hunger with two grilled sausages, whole potatoes, and a slab o’ garlic bread ($9.95), and the German bratwursts served on a French baguette celebrate delicious globalization ($8.95).
The full bar's brews, such as Blue Moon and Guinness, rest alongside a Jameson tap, which pours the famed Irish whiskey by the spoutful. LCD TVs showing American sports help repel stumbling banshees and muddled werewolves who wander into the wrong bar by mistake.