Groupon names your baby
What You'll Get
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but a baby that isn't named by Groupon smells like missed opportunity. Spray your infant with the perfume of success with this Groupon.
$1,000 for Groupon to Name Your Baby ($1,000 Value)
All too often, the importance of a child's name takes a backseat to other "needs" such as food, shelter, and clothing. Groupon, the World's Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™, has stepped up to address this issue. Upon your child's birth, Groupon will relieve you of the burden of naming your baby by bestowing a specially selected, custom first name upon your infant son or daughter. Purchasers will e-mail Groupon with their voucher number, and we will e-mail you back with a name for your child based on the name's aesthetic value and for how it might look emblazoned on a trophy one day—for a child named by Groupon will grow tall and proud, and he or she will be a beacon of hope in a world that is in such desperate need of one. Don't settle for non-Groupon-approved names such as Kevin or Bridget—let us gift your sweet child with a moniker for the ages.
Groupon has been naming things since 2008, when it named itself by combining the words “grout” and “superweapon.” Its previous baby-related ventures include Grouspawn and its sponsorship of the all-infant rugby league, Tot Scrum.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 10, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit one per parent, unless you have twins, triplets or quadruplets, in which case you can buy one per child. Groupon, the official World's Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™ , will name your child or children "Clembough". No substitutes or modifications. Spelling non-negotiable. Any attempt to name your child "Clembough" independent of this exclusive Groupon will be recognized by the world as a cheap imitation. If you fail to contact Groupon on or before the expiration date to have your progeny anointed Clembough, we will reject you and refund every penny of the purchase price. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.