Ninety percent of alleged UFO sightings can be easily explained as falling meteors, swamp-gas reflections, or doughy orbs hurled into orbit by Herculean pizza makers. Enjoy earthbound eats with today's Groupon: for $8, you get $16 worth of pizza and wings at Gumby's Pizza.

With a menu loaded with more than 40 specialty creations, Gumby's Pizza satisfies sauce cravings into the wee hours of the morning. Cooks handcraft a batch of dough every day, supplying pie-making artists with fresh canvases for their designs. The bacon-cheeseburger pizza brims with bacon, beef, and extra cheese (12", $16.99) to ensure satisfyingly gooey bites, and the Aloha chicken pizza invites pineapple into a circle of chicken tenders and barbecue sauce to sweeten otherwise tangy conversations with the tongue. Each order of Pokey Stix features hand-tossed pizza dough that's smothered in butter, fresh garlic, and heaps of mozzarella cheese before being cut into strips exactly the length of Abraham Lincoln's foot (10", $8.99). Gumby's also slings salads, subs, pepperoni rolls, and buffalo wings, which can be prepared in their natural configuration or sans the bones of buffalo.