Without the minors, major-league baseball would run out of players and sad songs would all sound like marching-band tunes. Cheer on today’s youth and tomorrow’s pros with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get a Round Rock Express package (up to a $109 value). The package includes:

• Four reserved-seat tickets at any 2012 home game or combination of home games (up to a $64 value)
• Four Intel Club passes (a $40 value)
• One parking pass (a $5 value) for any remaining Round Rock Express game in the 2012 season.
  
  

A Triple-A affiliate of the 2010 and 2011 American League Champion Texas Rangers, Round Rock Express players bat, slide, steal, and knock spherical things out of The Dell Diamond. Managed by former Rangers’ outfielder Bobby Jones, the team receives its silent hand signals and coaching from former major-league player Spike Owen, pitching coach Terry Clark, and star of Major League: Back to the Minors Scott Bakula. Watch this squad of dynamos take on their bat-swinging foes, and catch air-conditioned respites in the chic, WiFi-enabled Intel Club during slow innings, rain delays, or catastrophic nacho spills.

Tomorrow’s Major League Baseball stars emerge from minor-league dark matter such as right-fielder Nelson Cruz, who boasts a .455 batting average, and the fleet of robotic pitchers still in training. Additionally, every Friday-night game at The Dell Diamond concludes with a fireworks show, whereas Thursday nights treat fans to a Thirsty Thursday promotion, which includes $1 sodas for all, beer specials for some, and free haircuts for none.