If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your teeth are the white picket fence that protects the soul from oversized bites of taffy. Strengthen your defenses against attacks on the soul with today's Groupon: for $69, you get a dental exam (a $48 value) with cleaning (a $94 value), and x-rays (a $78 value) at Hagen Dental (a $220 total value).

Dr. Ronald Hagen, a 20-year veteran of cosmetic and family dentistry, arms himself with the latest in dental equipment to frighten off opponents of oral health. After patients stroll past multicolored mosaic art in the waiting room and claim a comfy dentist chair, the assessment scans ivories and gums for any problems before a customized cleaning targets plaque, tartar, partially chewed jelly beans, and other perpetrators of gum disease. For an even closer inspection, four bitewing x-rays are taken with digital cameras, minimizing radiation. With x-rays in hand, Dr. Hagen can carefully scrutinize merciless molars, spotting bone loss and cavities as well as explaining why your fillings are picking up radio broadcasts of famous parades.