Like a lion, hair can be sleek and vicious, but with the proper domestication it's possible to put your head in its mouth and make it dance to polka music. Housebreak feral locks with today's Groupon to Hair on Earth. Choose between two options:

• For $5, you get one feather hair extension (a $12 value).
• For $33, you get three feather hair extensions, plus a haircut, shampoo, and style (up to a $75 value).
• For $35, you get a conditioning hair treatment, haircut, and style (up to a $70 value).

Hair on Earth's eight full-time, creative stylists tranquilize crabby tresses with laid-back, sincere service. With a simple ten-minute treatment, a professional hairsmith can festoon follicles with luxurious feather extensions. Once affixed, the extensions can be washed, brushed, straightened, curled, or dipped in bronze, just like regular hair. For those desiring a break from their bouncing ringlets, Hair on Earth offers a gentle conditioning treatment, which leaves hair healthy and smooth. Hair on Earth includes a shampoo and style after both treatments, utilizing an arsenal of products that can demolish even the most fortified split ends, carving new territory for amusement parks.