What You'll Get
The practice of spraying liquids into one's colon has existed since ancient times, though it was used predominantly as a method for poisoning political rivals; hence the saying, "The enema of my enemy is my friend." Use the same basic principles to achieve a safe, clean, fundamental cleansing with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $60 toward your choice of three spa services at Halo Med & Wellness Spa: colon hydrotherapy, therapeutic enema, or ear candling, all at its Marrero location near the West Jefferson Medical Center.
For a gentle, non-intrusive cleansing above the neck, try the ancient Egyptian practice of ear candling ($47). Ancient pyramid builders used them to remove earwax—as the Q-tip was still in its three-millennia R&D stage—and also to treat symptoms such as sinus pressure, allergies, and vertigo. Eminent physician Jessica Simpson, for example, uses them to update her Twitter feed.
If you already own a candelabra skull, relieve digestive discomfort and prove Freud wrong by treating your retentive nether regions to Halo's colon hydrotherapy ($77)—a relaxing, cleansing treatment for the entire colon that relieves many lower-digestive maladies such as impaction and abdominal distention with a soothing flow of purified warm water. All colonic treatments are administered by a trained professional from Halo's crew of discrete digestive-health professionals using the Ultra Violet Water Purification System, which eliminates odor. Clients are provided with coverings to ensure modesty, so unlike most reality show contestants, they emerge with dignity intact.
To treat more-acute digestive ailments such as constipation, lower-bowel discomfort, and gas buildup, Halo offers three enema treatments ($47). Their coffee option uses the best part of waking up to stimulate the sigmoid colon with naturally occurring caffeine—encouraging liver functions in the process. The herbal option combines several softening and soothing ingredients to improve your body's natural peristaltic action so that it easily passes any accidentally swallowed Hot Wheels. The castile-soap option uses natural oil-based cleansing agents to rid the colon of compactions and restore natural functions.
For a holistic approach to the body's health delivered with the medical care worthy of a celebrity, get today's Groupon and stage your own adaptation of A River Runs Through It at Halo Med & Wellness Spa.
By appointment only. Must be redeemed in one visit. This Groupon cannot be used toward the purchase of products.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 29, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Valid for services only. Must be used in 1 visit. 24-hr. cancellation policy or Groupon is forfeited. Tax & gratuity not included. Not valid with other offers. By appointment only. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.