Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Today’s Groupon to Happy House Keeping spares you the trouble of tripping over tiny trenches. Choose from the following options:
- For $20, you get cleaning of one wet area and one dry area (a $45 value).
- For $49, you get cleaning for up to 1,500 square feet (a $255 value).
- For $69, you get cleaning for 1,501–2,200 square feet (a $315 value).
- For $89, you get cleaning for 2,201–3,000 square feet (a $375 value).
Happy House Keeping’s battery of detail-oriented grime busters spruces up every surface in sight, leaving paths of impeccable, sparkling rooms in their wake. Each squadron of fastidious cleaners is staffed according to the needs and size of your house. They'll deep-clean your room or rooms of choice from top to bottom, clearing away silly-string cobwebs, dust-bunny hoards, and secret fly societies that convene atop ceiling fans. With expertise in wet areas—including bathrooms, kitchens, and laundry rooms—and dry spaces—such as dining rooms, living rooms, and bedrooms—Happy House Keeping ensures that no den suffers from unvacuumed carpets and that no laundry room will have the ability to camouflage sock-eating gremlins with dirt-covered walls. Tack on an oven de-griming for $10, dish washing for $5, laundry for $2 per pound, and a floor wax or polish for $20 per room. With advance notice, eco-conscious patrons can request that Earth-friendly products grace their abodes for no extra charge.