Children who are born naked must be immediately swaddled to prevent their “new baby” smell from wafting out windows and attracting feral Peter Pans. Seal in your offspring’s freshness with today’s Groupon: for $80, you get a one-month cloth-diaper-service package from Happy Nappy Cloth Diaper Service (a $199.70 total value, including tax). The package includes:

• Weekly cloth-diaper pick-up and delivery (a $95.48 value)
• Rental of four diaper covers (a $16.80 value)
• Fuel surcharge (an $8.96 value)
• Baby starter package (a $59.99 value) that includes:
• Pail
• Filter
• Travel bag</p>

With an eye on lending Mother Earth a hand, the cloth diaper purveyors of Happy Nappy Cloth Diaper Service set out to provide an alternative to disposable diapers that is cost-effective and healthy with a low environmental impact. Equipped with 100% recycled pH-balanced fabrics, the service provides reusable, odour-resistant cloth diapers designed to breathe, guard against rashes, and absorb more liquid than a set of foam wineglasses. Beginning at least seven days prior to birth and continuing each week, caretakers can expect a drop-off of new diapers and the removal of soiled ones, with no requirement for parents to be home. Dirtied fabrics go through a phosphate-free laundering process, which rejuvenates the cloth duds using eight eco-friendly detergents—including proprietary formulas—over four separate washes that claim to use less water and energy than regular washing. The service’s diaper covers additionally act to prevent leaks, leaving parents with more free time with which to debate giving baby a later curfew.