Though a horse's teeth tell a trained eye everything about the animal, a human's teeth refuse to tell dentists anything without a lawyer present. Get to the root of the matter with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a regular teeth cleaning, an examination, and four bitewing x-rays at Hardin Valley Family Dentistry (a $201 value).

Dr. Sonia Kherani and her amiable team at Hardin Valley Family Dentistry boost teeth to the peak of pearliness in a friendly, comforting setting. Clients can recline in comfy chairs while their ivories are thoroughly sanitized, zapped with fluoride, and scrubbed with a fine tooth-comb. After de-blemishing bicuspids and dislodging clandestine Skittles, oral technicians inspect every micrometer of the mouthscape for signs of disease, creeping cavities, or loose molars plotting secession. Four bitewing x-rays ensures that every enameloid is observing proper posture and not encroaching on its neighbor’s personal space.