The colon is a winding labyrinth that must be kept clean to allow for comfortable travels and appease the minotaur that dwells within. Clear out passageways with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a colon-hydrotherapy session at Healing Waters Institute (a $75 value).

The IACT-approved colon therapists at Healing Waters Institute help patients to flush impurities and roadblocks from inner highways with gentle LIBBE open-system hydrotherapy technology. During this private, one-hour treatment, the colon owner dons a modesty gown and painlessly introduces a very small tube about a half inch into the foyer of the rectum. Warm water flows in, irrigating the ascending and descending colon to ferry away fecal matter, toxins, and mistakenly consumed artificial fruit. Colonics may help relieve ailments such as constipation, diverticulitis, and hemorrhoids, but they should not be practiced by pregnant women in their first trimester, sufferers of Crohn's disease, or those with suede bowels that have not been waterproofed.

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