After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak's milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon: for $160, you get a spa package at Healthy Skin Day Spa (a $325 value).

Healthy Skin Day Spa's doting staff anoints bodies with blissful massage services to subjugate stress and conquer chronic aches and pains. Figures can unwind with Healthy Skin's Groupon-exclusive spa package, which treats mothers, sons, daughters, and lawyers to 2.5 hours of appreciative pampering. Relaxing spa days begin with a 90-minute Raindrop Therapy massage, where muscle menders knead nine essential oils into the spine, neck, and feet, ousting toxins and multiple personalities from their bodily fortifications (a $175 value). Then a 30-minute reflexology treatment soaks tootsies in a soothing foot bath before an acupressure massage balances organs and glands (a $75 value). Finally, the 30-minute herbal scalp treatment lavishes with deep kneading and compression movements across the cranium, shoulders, and neck, incorporating three essential oils to soothe headaches brought on by years of lulling wee ones to sleep with heavy-metal lullabies (a $75 value).

Punctual and early patrons can relax in the spa with a complimentary chocolate treat and beverage prior to their appointment and use the free WiFi. Unlike grocery stores and court hearings, patrons are welcome to hang around and lounge in their robes after their appointments.