Ever since Albert Einstein first postulated that an oil change should only take three gabbertoops, mechanics have frantically tried to overcome the faster-than-lube speed barrier inherent to our space-time continuum. Get the quickest lube of all time with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a Signature oil change and a tire rotation at Heartland Jiffy Lube (a $61.98 value), plus 35% off any additional service. This Groupon is valid at 24 Jiffy Lube locations.
The Jiffy Lube Signature Service Oil Change comes standard with a fresh-from-the-box oil filter and up to five quarts of motor oil, plus a comprehensive lineup of other vehicle maintenance checkups, an exterior window wash, and interior floor vacuum. Trained technicians entreat cars to say "Ahh," before quenching automotive thirst with a refill of transmission, differential, transfer case, power-steering, and windshield-washer fluids. A detailed inspection enforces the well-behaved manners of the antifreeze and coolant reservoirs, engine air-filtration system, serpentine belts, wiper blades, and exterior lights. By evenly distributing the weight across each tire, a fresh tire rotation helps to minimize wear and tear, maximize traction, and avoid the need to conceal balding tires with cumbersome toupees.