Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be coddled and maintained on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $32, you get a 60-minute specialty massage at Heavenly Hands Massage (a $75 value). Specialty massage styles include Thai, ashiatsu, Fijian, cranial, deep tissue, aromatherapy, or hot stone.

Strong-thumbed massage therapists dissipate tension with the same massage techniques used to unwind professional athletes from the Utah Grizzlies, Blaze, and Bees. Stress evaporates from bodies during the long, flowing strokes of a Swedish massage, tailor-made for relaxation, and pain from whiplash slowly backs off during a gentle head-and-spine-focused cranial-sacral massage, which aims to increase the circulation of spinal fluid to bolster the nervous system. Chronically tight muscles can benefit from an ashiatsu massage, wherein massage therapists steady themselves on a bar anchored to the ceiling, applying targeted footsteps and pressure that's slightly more intense than getting a deep-tissue massage while losing a spelling bee.