What You'll Get
Carpets, like dogs, often hide under the dining-room table and let out audible whimpers when threatened with bath time. Make your carpets howl like the beasts they are with today's Groupon: for $65, you get three carpet areas cleaned and deodorized from Heaven's Best Carpet Cleaning (a $129 value). This Groupon is valid for areas up to 180 square feet (a total of 540 square feet) and is only redeemable for households in Rockingham and Stokes counties.
Heaven's Best cleanses chambers of blotches from baseboard to baseboard under the sure-handed care of unstoppable stain eliminators sent from the future to eliminate lurking dirt. Living humans with muddy mansions, fouled flats, or carpeted caves receive specific appointment times, leaving customers free to better spend their time observing plants to make sure they produce oxygen instead of voice-altering noble gases. Treatments start with a dry vacuuming to clear planes of loose debris before using a mild-cleaning solution to release stains locked onto fibrous strands. The floor-flushing machinery then removes the liberated loam with a low-moisture method that allows carpets to dry in an hour.
Carpet angels finish the turf transformation by grooming rugs with a scent-shedding deodorizer, hue-heightening color brightener, and anti-static guard to thwart the efforts of sock-sporting shock-smiths. Each cleaning comes with a guarantee that any spots removed won't show their faces again for at least 30 days or one werewolf cycle.
Heaven's Best Carpet Cleaning offers customer testimonials on their website:
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Aug 24, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. New clients only. Valid only in Rockingham and Stokes County. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.