Jump to: Most Common Massage Questions
Pack your aches in a flat-rate UPS box and deliver them into the healing hands of Helix Massage Therapy. With today’s Groupon, $42 gets you a 70-minute therapeutic massage from Helix (an $85 value). Helix’s massage therapists are versed in a variety of techniques, allowing them to identify and relieve sources of distress from back and neck pain to cramps to athletic injuries to anxiety to reindeer feet.
Depending on your needs, your 70-minute massage session may include:
- postural assessment, including range of motion tests
- a deep tissue massage for severe muscle tension
- a Swedish massage good for poor circulation
- gentle stretching to increase flexibility and range of motion
- myofascial release work that focuses on soft tissue relaxation
- Reiki and craniosacral techniques to transmit healing energy for physical balance
- prenatal massage
This power-combo of bodywork techniques will help increase flexibility, improve circulation, soothe what ails you, boost your overall sense of well-being, and get you to finally forget about that line drive that went right through your legs and cost you the World Series. Therapists Melissa and Danielle—both highly praised by Yelpers—will cradle your back and feet with a heated buckwheat pack during the massage to heighten relaxation. You’re encouraged to ask any questions before and during the treatment: how to reap the benefits of the massage after treatment, possible causes of tension, number of potato chips the human body can tolerate before rejecting them, etc.
Helix is located on Queen Anne Avenue, near Key Arena. Liberate your body from tension and pain, or buy multiple Groupons and hand them out for Halloween.
Most Common Massage Questions
Massage patrons are generally encouraged to ask questions during a massage. Here are the most frequent questions asked and their common answers:
Q: Where am I? What year is this?! Who are you?!
A: You are receiving a massage. It is natural to become so relaxed that you lose your mental faculties.
Q: Who is president?
A: His name is Barack Obama. Don’t worry, you have not slipped into an alternate reality. You’re merely very relaxed.
Q: Who won the Civil War?
A: The North. Again, you have not slipped into an alternate reality, you are just very relaxed.
Q: Why are things the way they are?
A: This is a complex question that hinges on notions of free will vs. determinism. A complete answer is frankly outside the scope of what this massage can provide.
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