Since the sun remains completely obscured by a blimp advertising lower-sodium cheese crackers, skins have lost their baked glow. Today's Groupon replaces the sun with a month of unlimited tanning, plus one free Mystic Tan, for $49 at Hollywood Tans on Ridge Avenue in Philadelphia or in either Westmont or Mt. Laurel, New Jersey, a $149 value (see rates here). Take control of your pigment and bask in the luminescence of tan skin, which can get you out of traffic tickets related to not being tan.

Ancient people in ancient times got perfect ancient tans while standing up because the lying-on-the-ground-for-bronzing purposes had not yet been attempted. Hollywood Tans' friendly staff takes a page out of the history books by implementing highly hygienic vertical tanning to deliver even, 360-degree coloration without the stress of bulb marks and pressure points one gets from horizontal tanning beds. With your month of unlimited tanning, you can usurp a summary glow while standing up in one of Hollywood's state-of-the-art HT60 booths.

Pleasing hues will surface on your body in no more than 10 minutes, and a beautiful base tan takes just three or four sessions. Since each location has roughly 15 beds, you won't have to fight for bronze. Hollywoods' clean and comfortable salons are the perfect place to spiff up for a special occasion or to blend into tan-toned walls at the office.

This Groupon may not be applied toward existing monthly memberships.

Reviews

There aren't many reviews for the Hollywood Tans in Philadelphia and New Jersey, but the Walnut St. location in Philadelphia won Best of Citysearch in 2006. Yelpers in California give Hollywood Tans four stars, and Citysearchers in Atlanta give it a near-perfect 4.5-star rating:

• This is the best tanning salon in Atlanta! I have been to numerous ones in Atlanta and never could find one that was always clean and made me feel comfortable. I first started at Hollywood Tans 3 years ago and refuse to go anywhere else. – hlywd, Citysearch
• This place is awesome!! The staff is very friendly and this place is always super clean!! – rachel g., Yelp
• The place is clean, never a wait, and the beds are always HOT HOT HOT, which means my ass is getting a TAN… – Jamie C., Yelp