Though it doesn't provide the discomfort and high ticket prices associated with an airport pat-down, a massage is still an effective tool for discovering concealed knives and small firearms. Prove you’re not packing in the most relaxing way with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour Swedish massage (a $65 value) at Holten Wellness Center on Paragon Road. You can use this deal to upgrade to a more expensive deep-tissue ($75) or hot-stone (starting at $85) massage by paying the difference at the time of your appointment.

Holten Wellness Center provides a variety of stress-relieving and health-boosting services in a therapeutic, medically supervised environment. With three experienced massage therapists on relief-bringing hand, you’ll find no shortage of help when it comes to receiving an hour-long Swedish massage. The gentle, full-body massage employs long, connective strokes and kneading to improve blood flow, stimulate the lymphatic system, relieve physical tension, and melt stress into a puddle of biodegradable papier-mâché. You’ll leave the Holten premises with your muscular fibers singing as harmoniously as a barbershop quartet, instead of screeching like the lead singer in a Norwegian death-metal barbershop quartet.

Call ahead to book your appointment.

Reviews

Patients of Holten Wellness Center provide satisfied testimonials on its website:

• Everyone has been so great, very friendly and helpful! My lower back has bothered me for years and now I can’t believe how much better it feels! – Jessica P.
• The tools I have learned here will serve me long after I have completed my treatment. – Penny Mallison
• …I found from the very beginning, a very professional, helpful, and encouraging staff. – Tim Bosworth