Martial arts promote awakened strength, which demands that those with skills to fight must do so only in self-defense or if morphed into a video-game character. Protect yourself from real and digital realms with today's Groupon: for $49, you get one year of enrollment and a complimentary robe at Hong's Martial Arts (a $199 value). This Groupon is valid toward Hong's annual enrollment fee, but buyers must still pay normal monthly tuition of $109, plus $55 every three months for testing.

The self-defense sires at Hong's Martial Arts, led by U.S National Team Coach Master Hong, walk awakening warriors of all ages through strength-training forms such as tae kwon do, pradal serey, and hapkido. Upon enrollment, students are decorated in their own ceremonial uniform, a revered garb that commands honor and lunch money. First-year fighters begin by strengthening their minds and bodies in tae kwon do, a physical art that nurtures respect and discipline. Upon advancement, participants move on to pradal serey, a form of Cambodian kickboxing. As students watch their belt magically transform from white to yellow, like an egg run over by a school bus, sparring practices extend self-defense skills and give them the opportunity to don fashionable padding provided by the studio (only sparring requires padding). Upon achieving the highly regarded black belt, self-defenders can sweep through the moves of hapkido and grappling.

The instructors at Hong's Martial Arts specialize in teaching children the ins and outs of self-defense and awareness. The schedule includes family-oriented classes for moms, pops, and kids to karate-chop their way toward self-discipline and shared protection against sentient bricks of cheese nobody wants to touch.