A grocery store is like a carnival midway—it offers shelves and shelves of goodies that only become available after lobbing baseballs at stacks of bottles. Today's Groupon bypasses carnie cons by bringing the food to you: for $35, you get $70 worth of all-natural and portion-controlled meats, poultry, seafood, and dinner entrees from Horizon Foods. Home delivery is free anywhere in the Massachusetts counties of Hampshire, Hampden, Bristol, Worcester, Middlesex, Essex, Suffolk, Norfolk, Plymouth, and Barnstable, as well as the New Hampshire counties of Strafford, Rockingham, Hillsborough, Cheshire, and Merrimac.
Since 1979, Horizon Foods has been delivering flash-frozen and pre-portioned dinner entrees directly to front doors. Each item arrives fully prepped to heat and eat, individually wrapped, and fully trimmed and de-boned as needed. Select from proteins such as antibiotic-free chicken fingers ($79.99 for 48 two-ounce portions), divers scallops ($116.99 for 36 two-ounce portions), and buffalo burgers ($99.99 for 20 five-ounce portions) for grilling, searing, or using as an aesthetic metaphor in a diorama about 19th-century westward expansion. Pre-rolled, pre-cut, and pre-stuffed eggplant rolatini ($99.99 for 24 3.5-ounce portions) makes a palatable, pre-sized main dish for herbivores and herbivoyeurs alike. You’ll also be able to select a free added-value item, such as pepper-jack risotto cakes (normally $59 for 16 pieces). If the free added-value items don't pique your appetite fancy, you can also choose to take an additional 15% off the price of the entire order, or take a discounted price on a second item.
Horizon Foods makes eating right a simple process for overworked warlocks and swamped swamis alike. Complete portion-by-portion nutritional info is provided with each item, which lets hunger-havers avoid the time-consuming process of converting pounds into kilograms and then back into pounds. Without the distressing pull of grocery aisles full of brightly colored packages, and freed from the mind-bending puzzles on the backs of cereal boxes, individual brain power can focus once again on the important facets of life, such as deciphering the silent signals of charade tournaments.
Shipping and handling charges apply for counties outside of the delivery zone. Groupon customers receive a 10% gift card if they choose to order again.