What You'll Get
A strong, healthy colon is necessary for expelling bodily waste and keeping the intestines from unraveling into a cumbersome run-on sentence. Make sure your body’s properly copyedited with today's Groupon: for $45, you get one hydrotherapy colonic session with a consultation at Hosanna Colon Hygiene Care on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn (up to a $100 value).
Hosanna keeps colons running at full steam by offering colonic irrigation, a procedure that uses an FDA-approved disposable speculum to infuse the colon with warm, purified water, removing hazardous toxins and built-up fecal matter from the body. During the treatment, two hoses are attached to the apparatus—one to stream water into the bowel and the other to flush out waste, exiling it to an overly clean prison in which it will be forever haunted by ghosts made of toilet paper.
As a result of colon irrigation, newly baptized bodies may experience benefits such as healthier skin appearance, more regular bowel movements, and better sleeping patterns.
Though Hosanna Colon Hygiene Care sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Sep 4, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. By appointment only. Cancellation policy applies. Must be 18 or older. Some medical clearances apply. Gratuity not included. Tax included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Hosanna Colon Hygiene Care Inc.
Chronic bouts of irregularity caused Dilcia A. DeMorel to grow concerned about her internal health, turning to colonics as a way of cleansing the toxins she knew were camping out in her disobedient bowels. A convert to this drug-free therapy, Ms. DeMorel opened Hosanna Colon Hygiene Care Inc. to share its restorative benefits with others. To further detoxify the body, she works to rid tissues of heavy metals through ionic footbaths and to rid the ear canals of runaway Madame Tussauds figures through ear candling.