Jump to: Like Sands Through the Hourglass
With winter on the way, it's time to pull your heavier fabrics out of storage to air out the trapped sweat from last winter and the must of dead attic bears. Instead of dousing your wool suit in perfume, Febreeze, or deer scent, send it to the cleaners for the fresh scent and superior fit of a newly dry-cleaned suit. With today's Groupon, $25 gets you $50 worth of dry cleaning from Hourglass Dry Cleaning.
The friendly staff at Hourglass understands the value of your time; that's why they pick up and deliver your dry cleaning to your home, business, or home-business, if you're an eccentric shut-in in a mountaintop observatory. No judgments, and no extra cost. Hourglass Dry Cleaning delivery services downtown Baltimore, Linthicum, Owings Mills, Reisterstown, Randallstown, Towson, and Timonium each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If you aren't on one of the delivery routes, or you'd rather pick up your dry cleaning on your own time, Hourglass has two convenient locations in Federal Hill and Canton.
With today's deal, you can put that high-priced, dry-clean-only cashmere jumpsuit on your holiday wish list and have a way to clean it, or finally let your favorite silk blouse ($4.25) caress your clavicles once again. Ditch the rumpled dress shirt ($1.60) and mustard-stained blazer ($5) from your professorial hot-dog-eating contest to impress your fiancé’s Mayor/Doctor parents. Get your nice dresses ($7.50 each) and suits ($8 each) ready for the rounds of holiday parties and benefits, or slip this Groupon in your partner's sartorial stocking.
The dry-cleaning experts at Hourglass are committed to making your dreaded trip to the dry cleaners vanish in a flurry of fast, free delivery and superior service. Nice clothes are an investment, and you should treat them with the kind of gentle cleaning you give your pets, cars, and credit rating.
Like Sands Through the Hourglass
While having your formals de-crusted by Hourglass Dry Cleaning, take care not to stare directly into the beautiful and ancient hourglass engine that powers their dry-cleaning machines. Though it may look beautiful swiveling in its steam-punkesque gyroscopic brass enclosure, many report hypnotic visions that foretell the date and method of their own deaths.
If you're skeptical, consider the testimony of a man of science, John Hopkins University’s own Professor Philip Warsaw:
- The device spun and curved until it appeared to leave trails in reality itself like a finger being dragged across the surface of a still pond. I saw space unfold into a window whose geometry I could not clearly envision again outside of nightmare. I saw bears, bears and clowns, and myself running. Briefly, I locked eyes with my future incarnation and the memory too was locked in place. Still it came as some surprise when it was the clowns, and not the bears, who began to trample and devour me, and the bears, and not the clowns, who stood by to laugh their awful laugh.
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