Like a good horror movie, a good exercise regimen shocks the body out of its lethargy, which is why so many personal trainers chase their clients on treadmills while brandishing anacondas. Get in terrifyingly good shape with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get eight small-group personal-training sessions, a Human Machine T-shirt, and a Luna Bar package at Human Machine Athletic Club, valid at its locations in Austin and Lakeway (a $229.95 total value).
Human Machine Athletic Club hums with the industrious sounds of high-powered personal-training sessions that slam-dunk fitness goals with personal motivation and effective exercises (a $25 value / session). Personal trainers encourage up to four participants at a time during 55-minute sessions covering strength training, aerobic exercise, and vaulting over coworkers during coffee stampedes. Trainers also provide nutritional counseling to equip clients with multi-pronged strategies to meet their fitness goals. Exercise groups come together based on fitness abilities and stay small enough to ensure team camaraderie, individual attention from trainers, and manageable deadlifting-themed dinner parties. Participants receive a T-shirt emblazoned with the Human Machine's business name (a $15 value) and a box of 12 Luna Bars (a $14.95 value), which deliver protein and vitamins to hard working bodies, and decadent chocolate and peanut butter to nourishment-starved muscles.