Recent advances in homogenization have caused a number of never-before-seen phenomena, including identical second cousins and blizzards of boring, exactly replicated snowflakes. Stock up on individuality with today's Groupon: for $200, you get $300 worth of fully customizable goods at iBrand Apparel & Promotions, plus free U.S. shipping for life (up to a $150 value).
From its 35,000-square-foot headquarters, iBrand allows its clients to tweak a huge array of products to fit their personal design preferences and promotional needs. Creating customized gear is as easy as convincing a baby to trade his candy for Confederate dollars: Customers begin by choosing the type of apparel or promotional product they want to design, including T-shirts, athletic jerseys, bags, pens, koozies, trophies, golf gear, and much more. IBrand's squadron of professional associates guides them through the entire process, helping to develop a design that best suits each person's needs and eye color.
The price of orders is determined by the product type and quantity, the type of printing used (screen printing, embroidery, laser), and the total number of colors used for artwork. For specific price points, request a quote or contact iBrand's eager associates, who can deliver design insight, as well as relationship advice, in perfect iambic pentameter. This Groupon includes free domestic shipping for life from iBrand, an amenity usually reserved for orders placed by celebrities and demanding mimes.