Until scientists develop a weapon potent enough to destroy gravity, wrinkles and falling coconuts will continue to serve as humbling reminders of our delicate mortality. Out of sight, out of mind with this Groupon.

Choose Between Two Options

• $299 for a Madonna eyelift for both eyes (a $1,000 value)
• $998 for a Madonna eyelift for both eyes and a fractional-laser skin-resurfacing treatment for the face (a $3,500 value)

The Madonna eyelift uses the regenerative powers of fractional lasers to diminish dark circles and wrinkles around the eyes while firming eyelid skin and lifting drooping eyebrows. Fractional skin-resurfacing treatments help to tighten skin and lighten age spots, sun damage, and wrinkles all over the face. Both treatments work by delving a grid of pinpoint laser beams deep into the skin, causing the untouched skin between the beams to jump-start their healing processes and boost collagen production, leading to firmer, plumper tissue. Most treatments heal in around three days and take up to six months—sometimes with subsequent treatments—for results to fully appear. All treatments are administered by the doctor.