Much like laundry, the human body must be cleansed, ironed, and strewn about on lawns during heated quarrels. Overcome inner toxic nemeses with today's Groupon at Inner Awakening Healing Center. Choose between two options:

• For $55, you get an initial consultation and one colon hydrotherapy session (a $110 value).
• For $70, you get an initial consultation, one colon hydrotherapy session, and one 30-minute infrared sauna session (a $140 value).

Inner Awakening Healing Center strives to purify the body through holistic healing, energy medicine, and detoxification treatments. Colon hydrotherapy is an intestinal irrigation treatment that flushes out toxins and the boluses they rode in on. Following your initial health consultation, several warm, pure-water passes administered by an experienced hydrotherapist cleanse more deeply than conventional enemas. With FDA certified equipment and massage techniques, intestinal walls are stripped of the childish crayon doodles of clinging ne'er-do-wells. Repeat visits are recommended, but clients who undergo the 90-minute process have reported improved digestion, increased energy and well being, and a greater appreciation for local carnival rides.

The second detoxification package features colon hydrotherapy and includes one infrared sauna treatment. During infrared sauna treatments, heat seeps directly into the body, burrowing down deep and wringing out two to three times more sweat than standard hot rocks in a cedar room. Detoxify while softening scars, shedding weight, and avoiding the short tempers of agitated air molecules.

Reviews

Five Yelpers give Inner Awakening Healing Center a perfect five-star average:

• The sessions themselves each time have left me with a sense of euphoric calmness. – Jocie B.
• Jane guided me through my first hydrotherapy session with grace. I was very nervous but as soon as we began talking, i knew i was in great hands! – Mar D.