After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak's milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon: for $79, you get a fat-burner spa package at Integrated Wellness in Ponchatoula (a $175 value).
The professional staff at Integrated Wellness purges bodily toxins and stokes fat burning furnaces with full service spa packages. The three-hour fat-burner treatment preps human packaging with a one-hour therapeutic massage enhanced with essential oils aimed at cantankerous cellulite. A warming FIR pad un-tightens tissues, helps boost metabolism, and defeats extradimensional beings with infrared rays. Detoxing proceeds on multiple fronts—the chi lymph service focuses energy on eliminating toxins, the VibraTrim jiggles the body up and down to promote lymphatic system flow and the dropping of high-growing hair coconuts, and a foot spa helps evict newly loosened noxious substances. A 20-minute FIR sauna concludes the experience, helping burn up to 600 calories and turning bodies into human slip-n-slides as it induces more sweat than conventional saunas.
302 S 1st St.
Ponchatoula, Louisiana 70454