Aestheticians replaced painters as the authorities on human beauty when the face of Botticelli's The Birth of Venus began to crack and break out with pimples from all the oil paint. Subject your visage to gentler media with today's Groupon: for $59, you get any one of four one-hour facials with organic microdermabrasion at The International Skin Care Institute in Scottsdale (a $229 value). Choose from the following facial treatments:

• The signature energized facial
• The sun-damage facial
• The acne break-out facial
The men's facial

Groupon customers also receive $100 toward any other future facial, as well as a complimentary jar of Beautify Cabernet Wine Anti-Aging eye treatment (a $59 value).

The International Skin Care Institute's licensed aestheticians buff away wrinkles with organic products and zero-point energy, a technology used to increase the detoxifying and firming power of skin creams. After a consultation and brief staring contest, a seasoned skin maven commences the organic microdermabrasion, a treatment that exfoliates the top layer of skin to remove pore-clogging dead cells and make the face more receptive to an all-natural facial. Safe for all brands of skin, the energized facial employs zero-point energy to abolish toxins, mollify swelling, and tighten the features into a sculpted veneer. The sun-damage facial erases evidence that you spent a sick-day at the beach; the acne break-out facial prevents strangers from playing connect-the-dots on your face; and the gentlemen's facial rubs male mugs with hot sauce.

After a visit to The International Skin Care Institute, clients may notice an immediate improvement in their skin's vibrancy and reward it with gold stars.