Wheels, useful for few things as of now, may one day free civilization from the oppression of continental immobility when they are affixed to the top of the lithosphere. Today's Groupon juxtaposes utility and recreation: for $12, you get a two-person skate package, including admission, skate or blade rental, skating lessons, popcorn, and drinks, at InterSkate Roller Rink (a $32 total value) in Lewisville.

InterSkate Roller Rink nourishes wheel-skill development as bladers and skaters whip around the 80'x180' maple rotunda rink. After choosing to rent inline rollerblades, speed skates, or traditional quad skates (a $6 value), gliding guests can chat convivially or stage a rolling version of Saturday Night Fever under 760 twinkling track lights and nine luminescent mirror balls. Eight-wheeled wonders unleash graceful bouts of self-expression once the DJ strikes up the 3,000-song jukebox, pumping out tunes through 14 speakers and six subwoofers. For burgeoning beginners and regressed veterans envious of a newborn giraffe's shaky skating skills, skate lessons are offered (a $6 value) and novices can make a splash in the 25'x70' mini rink. Roller-rumba and blading ballroom waltzes are known to induce severe hunger pangs, which can be allayed by refueling with two popcorns and two drinks at the snack bar (an $8 value).