There is now more writing available on the Internet than the sum of all books ever written by millions of monkeys at millions of typewriters. Gird yourself for the coming Reading Wars with today's Groupon: for $60, you get a one-day, five-hour speed-reading class from The Iris Organization (a $199 value). Classes are held in downtown Madison on Saturdays and Sundays—check the website for times and locations.
Iris equips its students with the power to read quickly and effectively, reducing molasses-slow reading habits to rubble and replacing them with a laserlike ability to consume and comprehend literature. With a five-hour class, students will learn drills to drum up the speed of their reading, creative note-taking tips, and how to better retain knowledge gathered during reading. Different mediums of information conveyance will also be covered, such as technical materials, magazines, newspapers, and websites. Past students have reported reading up to five times faster as a result of Iris's instruction, leaving more time for hobbies such as carpet weaving or ship-in-a-bottle smashing.
Speed-reading techniques are ideal for business professionals, overworked students, and truckers seeking to finish the latest Danielle Steel novel while still getting their shipment in on time. Kick-start your word-per-minute consumption and give literature-loving lightning a rapid-fire run for its money with Iris's speed-reading skill sets.