Water slides are like active volcanoes—both melt away stress, propel fluids down super-steep slopes, and have a lot of screaming nubile women thrown down them. Leisurely lounge or ride the tidal-waved slides with today's Groupon: for $13, you get one general admission to Island Waterpark (up to a $26.99 value).
Island Waterpark thrills aqua adventurers of all ages and adrenaline levels with sandy beaches and towering slides. Guests can begin their day working up a sweat reconfiguring the 60,000-square-foot Bondi Beach into a Taj Mahal sand castle. Test the factuality of gravity by plunging down more than 20 intimidatingly named water slides—including the Bermuda Tunnel of Terror, the North Shore Wipeout, and the Mazatlan Plunge. A voluminous wave pool loaded with roughly 500,000 gallons of water lets landlocked surfers ride the wrath of Poseidon, free from the restrictive bounds of lunar cycles or the blue whale's mating season.
Though guests to Island Waterpark might meet humans on their way to the water, they might also encounter Pelican Pete—a giant blue pelican in a floral-print shirt and bermuda shorts. He and an athletic lifeguard staff oversee guests as they wander among fountains and roaring water in attractions designed for everyone from toddlers to adults. Bright-blue tube slides spiral down into splash pools, a giant bucket tips gallons of water onto passersby, and a three-story open slide sends riders on a straight shot into a landing zone that pads their descent with a foot of water and a coral reef packaged in bubble wrap. Aquatic revelers can also float down an endless lazy river and children can frolic under arching fountains and waterfalls in the kids key largo lagoon.