The sun’s energy not only tans people’s skin, but also gives flowers the strength they need to keep from screaming when they’re plucked. Maintain human sensitivity to being bouqueted with today’s Groupon to J2 Tanning in DeWitt. Choose from the following options:

• For $10, you get one month of unlimited tanning (a $44.95 value).
• For $10, you get one spray-tan session (a $24.95 value).
• For $39, you get three months of red-light therapy (a $99 value).<p>

J2’s staff uses handheld airbrushes to add sun-kissed hues to guests’ bodies, and regularly changes the bulbs in tanning beds to ensure even tans. During five- to eight-minute spray-tan sessions, a trained technician mists physiques from cranium to toe cranium with an airbrushed finish. J2 suggests shaving and exfoliating before spray-tan appointments to allow the smooth slipping on of russet snowsuits. Visitors repose on tanning beds to achieve colors as deep as an abyss filled with crayons, with a required minimum of 24 hours between sessions.

Red-light therapy, which has been researched by NASA, beams infrared light onto bodies to spike collagen production to reduce fine lines and wrinkles, plump up cells, and generate new capillaries. The treatments can relieve joint pain caused by old synchronized-swimming injuries, and three to four treatments a week are recommended. This Groupon can be used toward tanning-package upgrades.