As anyone who has accidentally called a boss "mom" knows, being able to tell who's who is vital to the preservation of dignity. Put life into focus with today's Groupon: for $2,250, you get IntraLase LASIK eye surgery at Jacksoneye in Lake Villa (a $5,800 value), and $200 worth of medication eye drops. This covers two of a series of four drops, which may be covered by insurance.
LASIK surgeon to the Globetrotters and fixed-vision patient himself, Dr. Mitchell Jackson of Jacksoneye has performed more than 30,000 blade-free procedures, facilitated by the precise IntraLase flap-creation technique. Dr. Jackson tailors each LASIK procedure to individuals with a pre-op consultation, during which a computer imaging system details each eye's contours, smoothness, corneal regularity, and ability to turn mortals into stone. On the day of surgery, patients and their designated drivers spend roughly 2.5 hours at the office, though the actual process takes only about 10 minutes per eye. The IntraLase system creates and adjusts a corneal flap, forming microscopic, subsurface bubbles to provide a more exact fold than possible with handheld tools. Patients receive an oral sedative and topical anesthetic, though minimal discomfort may be experienced in the 12–36 hours following surgery, such as an itchiness likened to a trapped eyelash or the dawning realization that one's spouse is actually a coat rack. With the exception of swimming, patients generally return to their normal routine within two days.