Since the Neolithic era, humans have progressively developed better tools, nimbler minds, and markedly less-hirsute beach bodies. Finish what evolution started with today’s Groupon to Jaira’s Waxing Salon, with locations in South River and Sayreville. Choose between two options:

• For $25, you get a female Brazilian wax (up to a $55 value).
• For $40, you get $85 worth of male waxing services.<p>

Jaira Lima, a native Brazilian and founder of Jaira’s Waxing Salon, draws on a rich blend of time-tested matriarchal secrets and tri-continental training to perform a host of authentic Brazilian waxing procedures. Savvy technicians, personally trained and mentored by Jaira, treat both veteran and novice clients of all genders and cellular carriers to swift bikini-region denuding. Both men and women can opt for Brazilians ($85 for men), where unwanted nether follicles are escorted into clean, private treatment rooms, blanketed with layers of sterile wax, and spirited away for up to one month. In addition to the choice between hard or soft wax, a variety of euphemistically titled shaping options are available to personalize hairlessness, including the postage stamp, the martini glass, and the Alfred Hitchcock profile.

Men can also select from Jaira’s extensive menu of other hair evicting services. Gentlemen can prep chests for football-season paintjobs ($65), put an end to watch vs. arm-hair disputes ($50/arm), or send a clear message to caterpillar suitors with a brow wax ($20). For both men and women, prewaxing anticipation and postwaxing euphoria can comfortably coexist in the salon’s funky, tiled waiting areas.

Though Jaira’s Waxing Salon sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.