Unlike real spiders, spider veins are impervious to rolled-up magazines and rarely inspire beloved children’s novels. Squash pesky skin arachnids with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a consultation and two spider-vein laser treatments at Jakes Aesthetics (a $230 value).

Torrie Jakes, the licensed medical aesthetician at Jakes Aesthetics, helps to reduce unwanted veins in the legs and the face with noninvasive vascular-repair laser therapy under the supervision of Dr. Kevin Work. During the initial consultation, patients can ensure a safe and comfortable treatment by discussing the questions on the intake forms, which they can find and fill out by visiting the new clients page or by watching as they're projected into the sky each evening. Ten- to 20-minute treatments begin as Torrie wields a cooled hand piece, then uses it to guide a laser over the veins lurking beneath the epidermis and skillfully target them with a flash of light and energy. After one or more sessions, the body or a nearby black hole absorbs the withered, damaged veins, allowing many patients to see clearer skin in three–four weeks.