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December 24, 2013
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What You'll Get
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Travel to a caffeinated new world where you’ll encounter international coffee blends and teas that bloom into beautiful flowers. For $15, today's Groupon gets you $35 worth of gourmet coffee, teas, or gifts at Joe’s Coffee House, an online store devoted to the consumption and appreciation of breakfast-beverage staples. Joe's roasts its coffee the day your order is placed, so the beans aren't just sitting around a warehouse waiting for you to click buy.
Let Joe’s be your perky pilot to foreign flavor. Try the Bolivia Colonial Carnavari, an organic blend of sweet cocoa tones derived from trees of the classic typica variety of arabica and priced at $14.95 for a pound (whole bean or ground). Fill your travel mug with faraway finds from Hawaii, India, Jamaica, or El Salvador, fantastical faraway lands accessible only by aerocraft or imagination. Blends typically average $20 per pound, with exceptions for the more exquisite varieties, including The Kopi Luwak, a coffee bean that has passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet and was featured in the 2007 mega-blockbuster film The Bucket List ($350 per pound). If a cup of java isn't what you need in the morning, Joe's also has a large tea selection to fit your fancy.
Joe's is perfect when you're shopping for a useful present for a bridal shower, baby shower, or offensive-player-of-the-week shower. Joe’s has an assortment of coffee and tea accessories, such as pots, presses, and grinders, or use your Groupon toward one of its gift boxes, such as the Grind and Brew with four pounds of coffee and a grinder ($69.95).
Ordering your coffee online means you can meditate over the best brew without getting heckled by under-caffeinated customers standing behind you in the morning line. Travel beyond the local boundaries with a more cultural cup, or just refresh your latte’s flaccid foamage at home with your very own frother.
Note: There's a $5 flat shipping fee (extra for expedited shipping) not included in your Groupon.
There aren’t any user reviews available for Joe’s Coffee House, but Joe’s provided us with testimonials that tell of the company’s speedy service and delicious flavors:
- It was roasted that day and served that evening. You can’t get any fresher then that! – Lea Park
- They shipped it to my business for me. At work the next day, the staff and our customers really appreciated fresh, flavorful coffee. – Todd Gregg
- Instead of giving the typical wedding reception gifts to my friends and family, I surprised them with sample packs of Joe’s Coffee with a picture of my wedding and a thank you message on the front label. – Becky Carter
The exotic lands of Hawaii, Bolivia, India, Jamaica, and El Salvador have more in common than growing superb coffees and teas; they're also home to some of the world';s most notable dragons. While the United States is a relatively young culture with no dragons of our own (yet), there is much we can learn from the dragons of other nations:
- Mexico: Current home to Quetzalcoatl, the great feathered serpent feared and worshipped by the Aztec empire. These days, Quetzalcoatl has attached his celebrity to local political causes, negotiating water distribution rights for local villagers in exchange for exclusive villager eating rights.
- China: Ao Guang, ancient Dragon King of the East Sea, brought chaos to his people in the form of terrible storms and natural disasters. This so angered the Heavenly Grandfather that he transformed Ao Guang into the smallest and lowliest of all snakes to teach him the humility of the Tao. Ao Guang currently resides in a terrarium in Hammond, Indiana, where he responds to the name Pico.
- New York City: While not technically a dragon, the misunderstood beast codenamed Cloverfield that terrorized our eastern seaboard last January taught us a valuable lesson about tolerance and our nation's own disturbing unreadiness when responding to "biological events." Despite thorough scientific analysis, scientists are still unable to explain exactly what the creature is, outraging online communities. Cloverfield is currently chained to the ocean floor, where it idly consumes passing porpoises and mournfully cries out for its mother, who, scientists assure us, is not the cause of recent seismic activity in the Gulf of Maine.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Apr 28, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 Groupon per order. Offer begins 10/28/09 at 12pm Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.